I don’t do New Year’s Resolutions (or how the krueger saved christmas)

I don’t do New Year’s resolutions.

The above line was going to be the entirety of my post this week, but I decided to tag on a post I had written earlier today for my personal blog – because it can be a New Year’s resolution if I want to call it that. I usually write my personal blog in all lowercase. I hope it’s not too hard to read

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*how the krueger saved christmas*

-by the narrator

for a few different reasons, the christmas season just wasn’t that holly jolly for me this year. i tried to merry up the days, but nothing seemed to work. christmas music (even sufjan stevens) didn’t have the magic it used to. tv specials and holiday movies did not entice me. hot chocolate. forget it. gift shopping wasn’t the joy it usually was. and christmas lights were only amusing when i got to point out how pathetic some house displays were with their single strands across a garage or window.

bah humbug indeed.

then came the night before the night before christmas. i joined up with a handful of friends to watch a couple south park christmas specials as well as the mormon christmas classic, mr. krueger’s christmas, starring jimmy stewart. for those of you who haven’t seen it, this 1980 production tells the story of willy krueger, an elderly widower who lives in the basement of an apartment complex with his cat george. the first 2/3 of the movie basically consists of willy krueger going off into day-dream land where he rides sleighs, thinks he’s nobility, conducts the mormon tabernacle choir, and other things that crazy old men day dream of.

i haven’t seen this movie for several years and the first two-thirds had me wondering, what the hell is this movie?

but then the last third suddenly changed everything. while adjusting his small end-table nativity scene, willy’s day dreaming takes him to bethlehem where he finds himself in a stable approaching the baby jesus in his manger.

Hello there… I-I-I-I… Oh dear… Oh… Oh, you’re-you’re… I’m Willy Krueger and I’m custodian over at the Beck Apartments, but, but you know that, don’t you. You know that. I guess nobody here can see me or hear me except you. I didn’t bring a gift, I, but I, I guess that’s not important. Thank you for everything you’ve done for me. As long as I can remember you’ve been right by my side. I’ll never forget when you walked with me right in those first few hours after I lost Martha. I-I’ve always been able to count on you, when I felt dark inside and when I… You were right there, right, every time, right there. Even when I didn’t feel good about myself, I knew that you cared for me enough, and that, that made me feel better. Like that time I got mad with Mabel Huntington because she broke her pipes on purpose just so she could have somebody to see while I came up and fixed them for her. Boy, I hollered at her, boy I hollered real loud. But then, then I got to thinking – you loved Mabel just as much as you loved me and I should treat her the way you want me to. I believe I talked to you about that at the time. Well, I started visiting her and we became friends. I saw her almost every day until the day she died. I love you. You’re my closest, my finest friend. And that means that I can hold my head high, wherever I go. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

while this scene had a sudden and profound effect on me, it was what happens next that really hit me. a young girl who is accompanying a group of carolers invites willy to join their group. while he initially plays it off, it’s clear that this was what willy wanted and needed more than anything that christmas – someone to befriend and love him. afterall, isn’t that what anyone really wants?

krueger saved my christmas that night. i realized that i had something to offer this christmas… well not necessarily for christmas… but i had something to offer. like willy, there are plenty of people who need someone. people who are struggling and need support, friendship, help, and love. however, i don’t want to help old people. you see… old people scare me. not only do they go all willy and day dream all the time, they have stuff growing on them, say weird things, get mad for no reason, smell funny, have memory trouble, call me names of former lovers, wear diapers, and a plethora of other things that i just don’t handle well. rather, i really want to do something i’ve been planning on doing, but haven’t gotten around to.. mentoring a child. a few months ago i had the paper work all ready to go, but a sudden car accident ruined everything. now, however, i’ve got the car, time, and means to do it. all i lack are excuses.

so that is how the krueger saved christmas. he helped me realize that i do have a christmas gift to offer this season. now i just need to make sure that i follow through with it.

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“I love you.” That’s what Christmas is all about… Clarissa said it to Mr. Krueger; Mr. Krueger said it to Jesus; and Jesus in so many ways said it to all of us.
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My gift to you!!!

About three years ago, my friend Ryan introduced me to a band called plus minus. I listened to a couple of their songs online but was not impressed enough to buy their albums. While I was poking around their site, I came across something fascinating. Their yearly, continental food tour.

Plus Minus toured Asia a few times and while they were there they chronicled everything they ate in series of photo essays called the Authentic Asian Food Tour. I have taken all the tours and am now sharing with this “gift”. I thought it was interesting, and usually am hungry/nauseated after the tour (Frankly there are some things that just do not look good).

On a related note, Plus Minus has inspired me to do my own tour and photo essay that I am going to call the Authentic Provo Food Tour. I will work on it gradually and post it when it is finished. I doubt that I will ever be able to eat at every restaurant in Provo any time soon but should have completed my tour sometime this summer.

So here is a link that will allow you to take the Food tour because after all, since Mormons do not smoke or drink, some find their outlet in food. So take the tour. If you dare!!!!!!!!!!!

Thoughts on Gifts and Toenails

by BiV

I have received several notable gifts through heredity.  One of the most fascinating to me is my baby toenail.  It’s strange how, for at least 4 generations, the women on the maternal side of my family have been born with a very small toenail on our little toes.  It is so small it looks more like a dot than a toenail.  It is too small to apply nail polish.  I’ve always appreciated this genetic gift from my forebears–odd enough to be distinctive, yet not really a deformity.  When each of my daughters was born, I didn’t check for five fingers; rather, I glanced down at the smallest toe first.  How sad I felt when I saw that I had not passed down this distinguishing characteristic!  In each case, their baby toenail was larger at Day One than my own. 

 Other gifts passed down may not be so welcome.  My sister and I, having passed the age of 40, have noticed evidence that we may have received the gift of jowls–so prominent in the aged members on my father’s side of the family.  Yikes!  Another gift I’ve noticed lately that I’ve given to my daughters is the “Nancy Lund” voice.  When my mother was angry, she began to speak in a tight, controlled voice, enunciating each word and speaking down as if to a preschooler.  I didn’t realize I did the same thing until I began to recognize it in my older children. 

As children of Christ, his sons and his daughters, we are partakers of the divine nature.  Lately I’ve been wondering what this means in terms of heredity.  Are there gifts we inherit from our spirit parents?  Are we predisposed to receive the gift of healing, or the gift of tongues, or even the gift of weeping from our Heavenly Father and Mother?  Is becoming like Christ a difficult task we must fight for, or are there things that come to us easily, as gifts, simply because we have chosen to follow him and become his children? 

It’s been a constant struggle for me to try to develop a Christlike character.  Almost every good quality exhibited by the Savior is something that has been difficult for me to emulate.  But my thoughts on spiritual gifts have led me to two areas where I feel that I have been gifted.  I won’t share them here, because for some reason it would be more embarrassing to tell you what they are than to describe the appearance of my smallest toenail.  I’m not sure why–maybe because these gifts pale in comparison with the abilities of other Latter-Day Saints.  Yet I feel deep within that they are strengths.  One of these has always been with me.  Perhaps it is indeed inherited at a spirit level.  The other became evident when I was baptized and received the gift of the Holy Ghost at age 19.  It was as if when I was adopted into the covenant there actually was a change in my character and this gift was bestowed upon me. 

Of course, there are many other gifts we may lay hold of because of our desire and our diligence.  I know that the gifts we obtain this way come from God and are valuable and useful.  However, the things that have been given to me through no effort of my own are somehow so precious and sweet.  They make me feel so close to the Divine, simply because they identify my heritage.  It’s like looking in the mirror, and seeing the shadow of jowls coming on, and smiling at my great-grandfather.

Giving Jesus the Gift of Captain Underpants

by the narrator

This is a little early, but I’m getting kinda desperate here. You see, normally I LOVE Christmas. I listen to Christmas music all month long. I wear a stupid Christmas hat with blinking lights everywhere. I get all excited about buy gifts for friends and family. i look at lights. I do all that holly jolly Christmas stuff.

The problem is that this year I have had zero Christmas spirit. Nothing. Nada. I have had no desire to sing or listen to Christmas songs. I haven’t even looked for that hat. I could care less about getting gifts. The only time I have looked at Christmas lights was to point out which houses should probably just take theirs down. I’ve pretty much been the Grinch who you wouldn’t touch with a 30 foot pole. It’s not a fun place to be.

Having had no Christmas spirit, here is a blog post about gift giving that I wrote a few years ago:

i needed a little break from paper writing, so i went to our ward’s fhe tonight. the bishop told a little story and then said that we need to think about giving jesus a present. what are we going to give him? not an ipod, he says.

i’m sure most in the room were thinking “ooh, i’ll give him a broken heart and a contrite spirit” “i’ll give him my prayers” “i’ll give him more of my faith” “i’ll give him 20 minutes of scripture reading”

i think jesus would almost rather have an ipod, but i’m not sure what to give him this year.

last year i gave jesus harry potter and captain underpants. i’ve never read captain underpants, but one of my cousins loved it, so i thought jesus would appreciate it too.

not to sound braggish, but last christmas eve i met up with one of my old roommates for some breakfast at the village inn. yeah… i know… why would i brag about that. lots of people do that. i’m not done with the story stupid.

after breakfast, i went over to barnes and noble to window shop ( i usually order my books through amazon). in the center of the store there was a little tree with ornaments labeled “boy, age 14″ “girl, age 8″ “girl, age 4″ etc… these all represented under-priveledged kids who didn’t have much. grab an ornament, pick out a book, pay at the register, kid gets a brand new book for christmas… not some crappy, beat up hand me down.

girl, age 12 got harry potter, books 1, 2, and 3. boy, age seven got the captain underpants collection.

“inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.”

this was by far, the highlight of my christmas.

So here’s my dilemma. I need some Christmas spirit. I need to find something, some form of charity, some Christmas grace, something that gives me that Christmas joy I have completely lacked this holiday season. I only have a couple days left. Please help.

Mandy Moore, Macaulay Culkin, and Christian Meanness

Last weekend my wife and I rented the movie Saved!, a mild satire about life in an evangelical Christian high school. It’s a reasonably entertaining movie, although it gets a bit preachy toward the end. Hilary Faye (Mandy Moore), the pious socialite, represents what has become a common stereotype of Christians–one who hypocritically pledges devotion to Christ while using her faith to justify really nasty actions. Hilary Faye is contrasted with other stereotypes–Roland (Macaulay Culkin) and Cassandra (Eva Amurri), the shoplifting, smoking, fornicating delinquents who end up having hearts of gold.

As with many stereotypes, the stereotype of “mean Christians” is not without basis. There are some well-meaning Christians out there who, I’m not afraid to say, strike me as being really extreme, judgmental, and narrow-minded. Like the ones who hold “Church of the Devil” signs and yell condemnations into bullhorns outside temple square during General Conference, or the ones I saw protesting outside the local Planned Parenthood a couple months ago. But then, I’ve met lots of non-Christians who fit the same mold. I don’t think that Christians, as a group, are particularly meaner than other groups.

However, I think there is something about the Fundamentalist mindset that makes one susceptible to being judgmental. If you are convinced that you are right and that everybody else is wrong, it’s hard to avoid judging others or being condescending. And, as Pema Chodron has put it, “We are all capable of becoming fundamentalists because we get addicted to other people’s wrongness” (thanks Exponent II!). I witnessed the same Fundamentalist-meanness trend in Utah. Even well-meaning, good-hearted Mormons occasionally found themselves making some disparaging comment about the non-religious, intellectuals, gays, “liberals,” or some other group they deemed to be “wrong.” For some, these comments occurred more than “occasionally.” Much more.

But then, I’ve often found myself making disparaging comments about those people–about how they are wrong (and I am right), how they are judgmental (and I am not). It looks like I’m just as susceptible to the self-aggrandizing delusions that I despise in others. Crap.

I think that pretty much any group of strong-willed, like-minded individuals is prone to the us vs. them, “we’re right and they’re wrong” mentality. Christians certainly may fall into this trap, but they are by no means its only victims.

This is by no means a novel idea, but if we (be we Christian, Mormon, secular, or whatever) could all avoid judgment, exercise more tolerance, and admit our own susceptibility to error, meanness probably wouldn’t be much of a concern for any of us.

My Mullings and Musings on Meanness

I have to get to Christmas stuff, but I did want to post something this week.

In reality, I think it’s pretty unproductive, and usually unfair, to label an entire group of people as mean. I would rather understand why meanness happens and what I might be able to do about it.

I have been reading a book that has helped me personally understand this better. I will briefly sum up some of my thoughts from what I have read and experienced (imperfect as I am).

If we understand that meanness is often the result of fear (or, I would add, sometimes the result of pain), we can better understand how to approach those who are mean (or be more self-aware when we are acting mean ourselves). (The book doesn’t use these words, but the concepts are there.)

If we run into a person who is acting in a mean manner, we might ask ourselves, “What is he/she afraid of? What is causing a felt need for defensive behavior?” And then, at the same time, we can ask, “What can I do so this person does not feel afraid or hurt or threatened?”

As simple as it sounds, I believe more than ever that the more we can help others feel safe and cared about, the less meanness we might run into. And the less inclined we will be to act in a mean manner as well!

Perhaps this a reason the Savior commanded us to love our enemies and pray for them and do good to them. The more we do that, the more we are sure that our hearts are right (a key to making sure we are acting in love, and that we have the Spirit so we can see things and others more clearly). Also, the more we act and react with love, the more chance we have of helping someone else feel more safe. In the end, our choice to love may be the choice that blesses our own lives as fear is reduced and meanness lessened.

Of course, this approach won’t always work. We may not always have the power to reduce the fear and pain in others’ lives because their source may run deep. But I think it’s worthwhile to do all we can not to unnecessarily add to others’ pain. We should also always be willing to look inside; someone’s meanness isn’t always just about what that person needs to change. Sometimes our own behavior can be a part of the problem. Often, we can change the nature of others’ reactions simply by changing ourselves and opening our hearts in love.

A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. (Proverbs 15:1)

But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you…. (Matthew 5:44; see also 3 Nephi 12:44)

You Big Meanie!

I don’t think that Christians are mean. There is no good reason for the stereotype. The reason we think that Christians are mean as a whole is because the duplicitous preacher/priest/monk as a literary device goes all the way back the the middle ages (probably earlier, we do have false prophets in the Old Testament, after all). There is no better way to embody hypocrisy and cruelty than to take someone who is supposed to represent a kind and loving God and then making them a hypocrite or cruel.

Certainly there are plenty of mean Christians, but there are plenty of mean Buddhists, too, I am sure. People come in all types and flavors and some of those are pretty sour. I don’t believe that Christians are exempt from this truth. In fact, the only way to exempt Christians from this would be to engage in some sort of wordplay. “Christianity implies kindness and humility and therefore the self-professed Christian who is proud and mean is not an actual Christian.” That is well and good if all you are interested in is a party wherein the righteous hang out with the really righteous. But we aren’t.

The Christian party is all access. Therefore, you do not actually have to be nice to participate. You just have to want to be better. Expecting someone to go from jerk to shining beacon of love and graciousness overnight is a bit absurd. People do change under Christ’s influence, but unusually it isn’t the sort of change that is immediately evident.

Our duty to the mean Christian is to love them. If we would be true Christians, we will do it because we ourselves want to. For, while they may be unpleasant, annoying, self-righteous, reactionary, self-important, prideful, unsympathetic, ugly, and smell funny, they are our brothers and sisters in Christ. If we take that notion seriously, these mean Christians are our mean Christians. If a child is unpleasant, you don’t abandon it. You teach it, love it, and give it a chance to grow. And not one of us can claim membership among the nice or the perfect Christians. That’s a club far too exclusive for the likes of mortals.

Remember your duty to the mean Christian, for that Christian is you.

Things I’m glad that Jesus didn’t say…

…but are said by supposed ‘Christians’ all the time.

by the narrator.

I don’t think traditional Christians are any more mean than LDS-Christians. For a group that calls themselves Christians (and a group that so badly wants to be called Christians), I’d sure wish they’d be a little more Christ-like. Anyways, here are a few claims that I often here from these so-called Christians that I’m sure glad Jesus didn’t say.

On abortion:

“You have to deal with the consequences of your actions!”

On poverty:

“They put themselves in that situation.”

“You shouldn’t get anything unless you work for it.”

On the death penalty:

“People should be punished for their actions.”

“That person should suffer for what they did.”

On immigration:

“Freeloader!”

On healthcare:

“You need to pay for that.”

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Wow. I took a break from writing this to go to my single ward’s family home evening. There was a great lesson given on charity, but somehow a few guys somehow managed to derail the lesson into a discussion about how they sometimes wish certain people would die. Not only were several of the lines above given, but some of the other popular phrases of Christians were also thrown out. “If they are innocent, then God will fix it in the next life.” “Those sick people deserve to die.” “Justice has to be served.” “They don’t deserve to live.” I don’t think I have ever felt so saddened and sickened in a church meeting before. Had I driven myself, I probably would have walked out and gone home.

I sometimes wonder if the Christianity I love and embrace is the same of those of my peers.

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If Jesus shared this attitude, there would have been no atonement.

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So anyways…. what are your favorite lines of Christians that you are glad Jesus did not say?

Balancing

I must apologize for being AWOL the past couple of weeks. I have wanted to comment and post on the weekly topics but have not been able to. Right now I have to choose between things that I write. Last week I had a major project for my Applied Behavior Analysis class, a subject that I love, that required total devotion. But that is done, and I am happy to announce that for the written report and presentation I got one hundred percent.

If there is something that I love studying just as much as Mormon history and doctrine, I love reading about human behavior. To this day, one of my favorite books is a little green volume about social psychology from a psychology class that I took at BYU Hawaii, perhaps one of the best classes I ever took.

In the minds of many rendering unto Caesar implies a division between the sacred and profane. Some people lament that they spend so much time working for Caesar and not enough time with the Lord. I must admit that there have been times that I have felt that way. There have been times when I have wanted to do nothing but read books about religion, history, and doctrine. In fact, there have been times when I have done that and it was not as fulfilling as I thought it would be. For me rendering unto Caesar is a call to balance, something that I think we all struggle with.

I feel the spirit when I am balanced. I find my scriptures more interesting when I am diligent in my studies. I find the temple a better experience when I am active and doing my best at work. Books written by LDS authors are better when I am also reading books by great authors not even remotely about Mormonism. In short, when I am balanced, taking care of spiritual, and not neglecting the temporal, my life is a whole lot better and I am a whole lot happier.

For some the term “the middle way” is loaded. For me the middle way means taking care of my physical, emotional, spiritual, social, and intellectual needs.

Well, now that I have blogged, I must get dressed and go, either to the library or work, where I am going to study for the next four or so hours.

Chris

A New Look At “Rendering To Caesar”

by BiV

The typical Mormon interpretation of the phrase “Render Unto Caesar” aligns with that of the majority of the Christian world. The scripture is found in Matthew 22:15-22  where the Pharisees attempt to set a trap for Jesus. They ask him whether or not Jews should pay taxes to the Romans. Jesus is wise enough to realize that if his answer is yes, it would go against the Jewish law and destroy his credibility as the Messiah. If he advocates nonpayment, he will be found in opposition to the Roman law and subject to their punishment. Either way, he would find himself in mortal danger. Instead of answering in the negative or affirmative, Jesus asks for a Roman coin, calling attention to the inscription of Caesar. He then directs, “Render unto Caesar the things that are Caesar’s and unto God the things that are God’s.” This has become a catch phrase for the idea that Christians should yield submission to political authority.

The above exegesis fits well with the LDS article of faith that “we believe in being subject to kings, presidents, ruler, and magistrates; in obeying, honoring, and sustaining the law.” But I find that Mormons sometimes fudge this directive when the laws of God are found in opposition to the laws of the State. A discussion on a recent thread brought up the practice of missionary disobedience to immigration policies.  Another example can be seen in the country where I am presently living.  Church meetings here are strictly forbidden. The Church has no official presence in this place, no membership lists in Salt Lake, no payment of tithing, etc. Nevertheless, local Church authorities are surreptitiously called, and meetings are held clandestinely. Members are told that “we have good relations with the government here,” but are strongly counselled against any mention of the Church in conversation, phone calls and messages, emails and communication by computer. They know that subject to the laws of this place, members could be deported or even beaten and jailed for their activities.

So how does this fit with “Render Unto Caesar?”

Unbeknownst to the Mormons, there is an alternate explanation of Matthew 22 which fits better in the cases when we are found to be practicing civil disobedience. This interpretation of scripture can be found in detail in a treatise by Professor Timothy Patton. The professor explains that Jesus was aware of the scriptural directives to place God’s laws above those of man. Jesus didn’t affirm that the penny with Caesar’s image was to be given to the Roman government. Instead, he was saying that the Pharisees should administer to Caesar, a heathen who did not know or obey God’s law, what was due any heathen or Israelite found in opposition to the Law, namely death (Num 15:15-16; Deut 27:26). Since the Pharisees were neglecting their duty of carrying out the sentence of the law, they were under the same condemnation (Deut 17:11-12).
Says Patton:

This is obviously why the Pharisees marveled at Him. They were not about to tell “Caesar” that God’s Law required him to be put to death, because “Caesar” would have then come after the Pharisees. In addition, Jesus had just rebuked both “Caesar” and the Pharisees by stating publicly that both “Caesar” and the Pharisees should be put to death, and the Pharisees who hated Jesus knew it but couldn’t go tell “Caesar” in order to get Jesus in trouble. Also, “Caesar” and his agents didn’t know enough about God’s Law to realize that Jesus said that “Caesar” should be put to death, and “Caesar” thinks to this very day that Jesus was saying to pay tribute. Checkmate.

How do you think the average member of the Church would react to this interpretation of “Render unto Caesar?” Do you think it is a viable addition to LDS thought? Or is our lip service to the twelfth Article of Faith strong enough to support a traditional understanding of this scriptural passage?