Giving Jesus the Gift of Captain Underpants

December 23, 2007

by the narrator

This is a little early, but I’m getting kinda desperate here. You see, normally I LOVE Christmas. I listen to Christmas music all month long. I wear a stupid Christmas hat with blinking lights everywhere. I get all excited about buy gifts for friends and family. i look at lights. I do all that holly jolly Christmas stuff.

The problem is that this year I have had zero Christmas spirit. Nothing. Nada. I have had no desire to sing or listen to Christmas songs. I haven’t even looked for that hat. I could care less about getting gifts. The only time I have looked at Christmas lights was to point out which houses should probably just take theirs down. I’ve pretty much been the Grinch who you wouldn’t touch with a 30 foot pole. It’s not a fun place to be.

Having had no Christmas spirit, here is a blog post about gift giving that I wrote a few years ago:

i needed a little break from paper writing, so i went to our ward’s fhe tonight. the bishop told a little story and then said that we need to think about giving jesus a present. what are we going to give him? not an ipod, he says.

i’m sure most in the room were thinking “ooh, i’ll give him a broken heart and a contrite spirit” “i’ll give him my prayers” “i’ll give him more of my faith” “i’ll give him 20 minutes of scripture reading”

i think jesus would almost rather have an ipod, but i’m not sure what to give him this year.

last year i gave jesus harry potter and captain underpants. i’ve never read captain underpants, but one of my cousins loved it, so i thought jesus would appreciate it too.

not to sound braggish, but last christmas eve i met up with one of my old roommates for some breakfast at the village inn. yeah… i know… why would i brag about that. lots of people do that. i’m not done with the story stupid.

after breakfast, i went over to barnes and noble to window shop ( i usually order my books through amazon). in the center of the store there was a little tree with ornaments labeled “boy, age 14” “girl, age 8” “girl, age 4” etc… these all represented under-priveledged kids who didn’t have much. grab an ornament, pick out a book, pay at the register, kid gets a brand new book for christmas… not some crappy, beat up hand me down.

girl, age 12 got harry potter, books 1, 2, and 3. boy, age seven got the captain underpants collection.

“inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.”

this was by far, the highlight of my christmas.

So here’s my dilemma. I need some Christmas spirit. I need to find something, some form of charity, some Christmas grace, something that gives me that Christmas joy I have completely lacked this holiday season. I only have a couple days left. Please help.


  1. Do you have any friends or relatives with newborn babies? Go and hold a baby for an hour or so and see if that does it for you. There’s nothing like it. I was going to suggest you go to the hospital and volunteer to hold the newborn preemies, but I don’t think they let you do that anymore…

  2. If you’re in SLC and want to give some kids some books again, books that particular kids will really, really love….there are a couple in my fifth/sixth grade class. Kids who live in the Road Home, who are growing and growing as readers, but who have very individual reading tastes. I think it’s much easier to give thoughtfully when you have are in a relationship with somebody, but I’d be happy to share my relationship with some of these amazing kids.

  3. You’re not alone,there are others feeling the same as you do.I think it’s all the hype from what the world sees as Christmas,but Jesus is the real reason for this Season.Think of how he must feel with all the running around to get this & that for….and not at all thinking about Jesus.I’m just keeping my mind on Jesus and being thankful for what I have and for friends & family. Numbers 6:24~26

  4. As a school psychologist working in elementary schools (my request), you have given a lovely gift to a child by encouraging the joy of reading. Children will work hard to read a selection of their choosing. Thank you for honoring their wishes. School nurses, school counselors and school teachers know the children in need and there are so many students here, who need just the basic things such as socks, shoes, books, school supplies, etc. I chose to work in schools that have higher poverty, even though it sometimes breaks my heart to see the need. Privacy rules do not allow us to identify a child who is in need to another person, outside the school. What I really love, is to see their little faces, when they get their wish fulfilled. Bless you for your generosity and find a teacher in a high poverty school who may be able to help you find a child in need at times other than Christmas.

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